Repentance
by dhalpin3
Summary: In New Mutants 20 Sam tried to kill Illyana when he thinks that Illyana has just stabbed and killed Amara. It turned out that Illyana was just using her soul sword to free Amara from the Demon Bear's magical enslavement. Kind of puts a damper on relationships when somebody tries to kill you, yet Illyana and Sam appear to get along quite well in subsequent issues.


**Repentance **

Author's note: In New Mutants 20 Sam tried to kill Illyana when he thinks that Illyana has just stabbed and killed Amara. It turned out that Illyana was just using her soul sword to free Amara from the Demon Bear's magical enslavement. Kind of puts a damper on relationships when somebody tries to kill you, yet Illyana and Sam appear to get along quite well in subsequent issues. Subsequent issues also show that Sam now trusts Illyana and actively seeks out social interaction with her. So I wrote this little story to explain how that came to be.

The following morning the group left the hospital and drove back to the school in a rental van (not quite so dashing as the Blackbird). Xavier drove and spent half the trip cursing the road conditions and the other half glaring at other drivers; and tailgating the whole time to boot. Xavier was both an aggressive driver and frankly a bad driver. It did not help his behavior in that that he could telepathically determine when other drivers were not paying attention; just allowed him more opportunity to slander those on the road.

Sam Guthrie was sitting in the front driver side passenger seat deep in thought. Illyana was in the back and Amara had rather pointedly chosen to sit next to Illyana. Roberto and Rahne were in front seats and spent the entirety of the trip asleep. Illyana spent the trip looking out side the van while Amana spent the trip glaring at the back of Sam's head.

Xavier should have noticed the tension but he was too busy maneuvering on icy roads and cursing other drivers. The drive took almost an hour due to the poor winter weather. Finally the van drove up to the main doors and dropped off the students; Xavier had decided to drive the van to the old carriage house and not return it to the rental agency until the weather improved.

Sam got out of the van first and helped the others exit via the sliding door; Roberto and Rahne exited first and hurriedly dashed to the house to get out of the cold and to go collapse into their beds. As Amana exited the van she hissed two words at Sam _"Fix it!"_ and then stomped off into the house. Sam turned and looked forlornly after Amana only to hear a cold but polite "_Ahem, excuse me Sam you're in my way"_ from Illyana who was still in the van trying to exit.

_"Oh crud, sorry Illyana"_ Sam declared while stepping back and letting Illyana exit.

Illyana shut the van door and started walking towards the house. Xavier pulled away with a bit of a spin and drove off to the carriage house. Sam just stood there for a few moments watching Illyana's back, then he closed his eyes briefly and swallowed.

"_Illyana do you have a moment" _he asked.

Illyana stopped but did not turn around; _"Sure Sam, what"_ she answered with a voice devoid of emotion.

_"A've got a few things to say but I don't really know how"_ Sam started.

_"I can't say sorry cause... well... an apology just frankly don't cut it. Ah did wrong by you, but it's worse then that. You were doing the right thing, you saved Amara, you saved us all... and I tried to kill you. Ah didn't give you any chance at all. Ah just assumed you were doing wrong when in fact you were doing right". _

_"Truth be told you scare me girl, scare me a whole bunch. What you are and what you're capable of Ah can't comprehend. But that's no excuse. Ah listened to my fears and to the fears of others. Ah pre judged you, Ah assumed you would do wrong. But now Ah find myself to be not only in the wrong, but worse then wrong. My Pastor would be right to slap me upside the head with the good book itself for wasting all those bible studies. Ah don't know how to fix this. Ah don't know what to do. Sorry just won't work. Illyana Ah..." _Guthrie started to cry_ "Ah beg for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it and Ah won't begrudge you one bit for not giving it. Ah'm not trying to put this behind us cause frankly Ah can't. Ah can't believe I did what I did. I'm so sorry" _he finished as he wiped his eyes with the back of his right hand.

Illyana slowly turned around and looked at Sam, _"You're actually sorry you tried to kill me and now you're apologizing and asking for forgiveness"?_ She asked with some disbelief.

_"Yes mam, I can't undo what has been done, but I can do better going forward. I know I can_".

Illyana looked at Sam for a few seconds with an expression of puzzlement. _"Nobody has ever asked me for forgiveness before. What an odd sensation. Why the change Sam? I'm still just me. Rahne is in part right, no mater how much I want her to be wrong. I'm not a nice person at many levels"_.

Sam took a step towards Illyana, _"Something I read here sticks in what little sense I have. The past is prologue. We are formed from our past but it does not have to define our future. You've had it worse then all of us, don't mean that you don't deserve the same chance as the rest of us. Am sorry Illyana, I won't let it happened again and I won't let my heart be filled with mistrust of you"._

Illyana stared at Sam for a few seconds, then a small smile bloomed on her face, _"I accept your apology and extend my forgiveness"_.

Sam burst into tears and hugged Illyana, who found herself hugging him back (rather to her own surprise). The two turned walked towards the house.

_"You know",_ Illyana said with a musing look on her face, _"Your the first person whom has tried to kill me who ever actually apologized"_.


End file.
